How It All Began: The Preface Of My Life
About five years ago, I decided to launch a blog. It happened during a significant moment: I had just moved out of my parent’s house for the first time in my life. Where to? New York. Midtown Manhattan, to be precise. This was not only a whole new world but also a major transition for me.
This move proved to be the spark lighting my creative fire. After moving from one part of the world to another, I learned to appreciate the value of creative expression and how connecting with others can make you feel alive – regardless of distance. This is part of what inspired me to create a blog! Again!
From Paraguay to the Big Apple
I was born and raised in Paraguay but found myself dreaming of moving away for as long as I can remember, around the time I started to come into my own and develop my own thoughts and personality.
My dreams and goals developed quickly – I wanted to live in a big city filled with shining lights, new opportunities, and art! My obvious preferences were the world’s trifecta of art and design, Paris-Milan-New York. I was ready to soak up as much culture and as many new experiences as possible.
Bright Lights, Big City Dreams
Getting to this particular point in my life was not a simple or short-sighted achievement. I spent my entire adult life focused on turning my dreams into reality. In fact, this dream started long before elementary school when I stumbled upon the concept of studying abroad.
I don’t remember why or how, but I became fascinated and obsessed with the idea. New adventures, new people, and so much to explore – how could I not become enchanted with my big city dreams?
I can perfectly recall the first idea that came to mind during my research. I told my mom I wanted to study Art History at the Sorbonne Université Campus in Paris. To be honest, I wasn’t even sure what that meant, but I knew I wanted it.
But, as it often happens in life, my career path went another way, and what I’m currently pursuing is a thousand worlds from the burning desire behind that sentence I pronounced as a child.
Still, everything I did from that moment on was with that thought in mind. And again, the destination and the subject changed, but the project purpose was similar and required as much effort, if not even more. Much more.
From middle school on, I was laser focused. I wanted the high-quality education I deserved and would do everything I could to get it. Every step I took was one that would get me closer to Wonderland.
A year or so before graduating from high school, I started toying around with the idea of studying in Argentina. I thought it could be the perfect trampoline starting point for admission to an Ivy League institution. My father obtained his medical degree from the University of Buenos Aires. So, it was a complete shock when my parents forbade me to go.
Anyhow…
Fast-forward a couple of years, and I started my bachelor’s degree in Business, a career that I have never ever in my life considered as an option for myself. I never saw myself working towards a business degree, but I just wanted something I could finish ASAP so I could start working on my goals.
I guess there is no sense in overthinking or ruminating more than I already have about how I would do EVERYTHING differently. Still, I will never be able to deny that there is an extremely high price to pay for renouncing what you believe in or are passionate about.
Sleepless Nights Are When I Shine
And, for all of you insomniacs like me, it will come as no surprise that these sentences are being written on a cold January morning (5:21 AM, to be exact). Lying in bed, the room as dark as night, and the computer on my lap. I perceive even the slightest sound around me. A breath, the wind, the hands of the clock… tick, tock, “tick, tick, boom…” (just like the movie).
Fun fact: Did you know that, according to studies, women are more likely to suffer from insomnia?
I can’t say that this thing about being unable to sleep at night is new. I have suffered from sleepless nights for as long as I can remember. Although, if I have to be honest, I usually don’t suffer from them; I enjoy them. I rejoice in them. I bloom in them. I’ve always been drawn to the stillness of the night. So, as a consequence, since childhood, I had to find ways to entertain myself while the world was under.
I started to enjoy reading very early on. I can say that; thankfully, I’m part of the group of people who were lucky enough to have “The Little Prince” as their first book. The itch to write accompanied my new hobby almost immediately (I’m very old-school in my habits, so I obviously have a particular weakness for pen and paper).
I also realized there’s nothing quite like the smell of a new book or the feel of an old one. When you start to put the thoughts in your mind on a piece of paper through your hand, it seems as if your pain is being transferred to the blank page. And so, the blank page becomes a part of you. Even if it’s left blank. Maybe even more if it is.
Another thing I’ve always been a fan of is technology. I am a total tech geek, particularly about design tools and anything that could have any form of art as an output.
I remember a random day of YouTubing, without looking for inspiration or anything profound like that, just a distraction; I found a video and then another, and another… (you know how it goes).
They were discussing the rise of lifestyle blogs and YouTube channels and the fact that the average person who consumed those contents thought of what they did as a “not a real job.” And that’s okay, I guess, if you have that mindset.
I thought it was one of the most exciting pieces of information I got in a while. On top of that, it was a nice mix of things I loved. I felt the urge to create. Create something. Anything. It feels like that weird heat that starts in your feet and ends up in a blushing face when you see someone you’re infatuated with.
So, that’s when the idea of putting every topic I’ve always yearned to learn into a pot and mixing them struck me. And then I realized it wasn’t just mixing; it was melting, actually. Just like New York, the city I adored. It was the melting pot of my dreams.
Making It Happen… Finally
I got a new job working at the most incredibly demanding office I’ve ever been a part of. Despite the hard work and unmatched exhaustion, It was a fantastic opportunity. Like one of those “one-in-a-million” chances you just can’t afford to miss. So, naturally, I was giving it my all.
The downside was it also took up a massive chunk of my time and strength. You need some extra food for the soul at such high stakes. Something to keep your fire igniting even on the windiest days. Luckily, I had this fuel. I’ve always been shy, but I love talking to people. Don’t get me wrong; I also enjoy deeply talking to myself -particularly out loud, but I find great pleasure in sharing my experiences with other people and learning about other people’s experiences. So, to be working at the most prominent organization worldwide was a win-win.
The pandemic happened…
In May 2021, I moved back to New York City to start a few summer courses in preparation for officially being a grad student at one of the most prestigious universities in the world – the Ivy League institution, Columbia University in the City of New York (as its official name reads).
I’m now living life in a very different way than I was when I started writing my first blog post in 2018. I’ve gained so many hours of self-reflection, solitude, and therapy that I could never even begin to describe their impact in one sentence.
All I can say is that I’m now aware of how important it is to find a balance in every aspect of life, from letting yourself occasionally enjoy a hamburger to finding things that give you joy when you are not fulfilling your obligations.
I’m seeking a balance between satisfying my passions and fulfilling my aspirations. And I can’t judge whether I’m doing things better or not. At least not yet.
I’m now exploring things that I always wanted to. Not in the depth I hoped, but still. Exploring those things I put aside so long ago, now as an adult, has a particular flavor. And I wonder if it’s a good one. Only time will tell.
Some things are only meant for ourselves, but the fact that talking about feelings and emotions is now being normalized is just a great thing to see. I can only think of those famous words that came out of Neil Armstrong’s mouth on July 20th, 1969: “That’s one small step for man, one giant leap for mankind.”